New York Wanderer

Friday, December 28, 2007

Satan's Utensil, or "My Palm is My Pilot..."

Charles Saatchi, Donny Deutsch: name any flog-master you care to. In my opinion they’re second best, though, compared to the holy ones, those who bedeck Williamsburg’s streets with the word of G-d. Suddenly last summer, out for a bike jaunt, my mind did a double take as I stopped to answer a cell-phone call. Plastered on a wall of one of the many Satmar institutions in Williamsburg, the fires of hell jumped out, licking at my heels. Was I in Brooklyn ? Not.

On a Yiddish broadside, Sodom and Gomorrah burned in front of my eyes. Orthodox Jews (and many short of that) wear a Khamsa around their necks, the five-fingered hand, an amulet of protection from the evil surrounding us. Palms come in many forms, though, or so I learned, as I finished my chat and read the bill.






Gvalld screams the poster: the ultimate warning: beware, yikes, oy vey to the max. Gehenem flakert ad leyb ha shamayim: “The fires of hell are blazing into the heart of the heavens.” Hollywood’s best could do no more: the Khamsa’s evil twin is a Verizon Palm Treo.

Going things one better is an adman’s goal; the ultra-orthodox advocates know no bounds. Not only do flames erupt from the typescript; not only is the Palm engulfed in a pillar of fire. There on a screen of innocent plasma, a picture too grim to imagine shines forth. Rows of barbed wire and death-barracks doors tell us forthwith from whence we text. Der Auschwitzer merges man and machine. Use it and know: you’re a Sonderkommando on speakerphone.

It’s seldom I take sides with Charlton Heston, agreeing with the NRA that people, not guns, kill others, are at fault. But here I am at the same intersection. The orthodox misfire, and strays run amok. There in the small print, the details are explained, how we’re at risk from the evil of ubiquitous Palms. And they’re only a symbol of a wider pandemic. The tool of the devil gives access to all: Untern shlayer fun internet/cellphone/text messages vern farbrent teglekh umshuldige, rayne yidishe n’shomes: “Under the shadow, the veil, of these specified items, blameless, pure Jewish souls are burned to a crisp on a daily basis.” Oyb mir veln nisht tuen kol mah sh’b’yadeynu tsu rateven dem matsev, konen kholile farbrent vern milionen yidishe n’shomes. Forwarned is four-armed: “All possible hands to the task that confronts us, to save us from this dangerous condition; if not, God forbid, millions of Jewish souls will be roasted.”

Circles and circles of false protection. Avert your gaze and your soul will stay pure. The pious and I are different in thinking. I think they’re self-blinded. They think I’m treyf. The magical device of shielding one’s eyes, does little, I think, to balance one’s life. The deep-seated belief in magical devices, reminds me of Jesus perched up on that cross. True belief consists in its very own absence, the doubt He exists or can do spit for anyone. No gun and no cell phone can fix what’s the problem. Phyllo-layered, like arm-wrapped tefillin, the layers of rules keep one dozing through life.

In the upper right corner of this screed against deviltry sits the authority for what’s shown below: Hayakhteh ish eysh b’kheyko, u’bgodov lo tisarafnah? A beautiful Hebrew verse from Proverbs is twisted to fit their devices: “Would a man rake coals into his bosom and his clothes not catch fire?” But Qwerty is blameless. Ring tones are just sounds. Pushing oneself away from the table of evil consists not in mere physical choice. It’s there in the realm of one’s inchoate struggle: there will you find Him, if He’s to be found.

Still, standing still, I admire the pious ones. On average a purer and better type folk. Life was just fine without all these gadgets. Our time to reflect has been stolen by default. Better I think, though, to try some hot raking, to smell the stench of one’s wool gone asmoke. Each to his own, sure. But doing the choosing renders one chosen. If not, one’s decision is just one palmed off.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

In the Distance...

Walking down West 79th Street the one morning many weeks ago, on the way to session, I'd little on my mind except my own troubles: my sense of distance from other human beings, my lack of relationship skills... Cold and damp, the air seemed to enhance my ennui, albeit a pleasant one in the midst of rare moments of feeling somehow ready to spend $6 a MINUTE being with a genius who takes no notes, drowses occasionally, and dresses in $30 socks and an assortment of loafers the count count of which would make Imelda Marcos blush with shame.... Great work, if you can get it.

Close by the facades of an unbroken line of buildings I trod, purposeful but un-hurried, my stomach full, my bladder emptied, heading to the safest place I know. Suddenly a doorman stepped out of an entry lobby, thrusting the heavy glass door open as an older 70-something, well dressed gentlman strode out and turned right, heading down the block in front of me. "Good monring, Mr. Roth," the uniformed man said cripsly. No answer, no acknowledgement followed from the tenant, not even simple eye contact made. I didn't see the older man's face head-on, but I didn't need to. Philip Roth's footsteps would be mine now, the air he exhaled could fill my own lungs. I made sure to follow, behind but almost alongside, non-chalant, giving no sign of recognition, even though I ached to violate. The question being what.

How does it feel to have the world tailing you? How surprising that the master of the past and the essence of the Upper West Side, lives in an anomalous modern post-war building, 20 years old. It just doesn't fit: Nathan Zukerman in a glitzy tower.

As the eminence grise stopped at the nearby newstand-cum-candy store I passed by him, stifling the urge to stop and stare. At the end of the block, I waited for the light as a middle-aged blond woman with a cane, elegantly dressed, approached the intersection and waited for the light. How did she know, this beautiful lady, when to stop, when not to cross? Her eyes were wide open but sightless, all the more strange for one unbalanced as I, supposedly un-cursed with her malaise, at least not yet.

Two strangers stepped to her side as she edged the curb, making sure she'd not make a false move and get splattered in the road by a garbage truck. Roth had dawdled in the newstand. He hadn't rushed over to help. I stepped ahead and wandered on. Blindness befuddles us. Sometimes there's a helper. God bless his genius in helping us see.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Casting Call






New Orleans, apres le deluge, but it was my first visit ever at the start of December: two days and three nights of enchantment and wonder in this living, breathing palimpsest of its many pasts. Slowly, I inhaled the atmosphere, the street names, Desire Iberville, Elysian Fields: so redolent to a newcomer, a sudden lover such as I. Two days and three nights of wandering, with music, music everywhere. The ice-cold oysters on the half shell and vodka martinis left me shaken. I am stirred.

Steel and iron abound in this ruined City once so deeply entrenched in commerce written large. One thinks of Louisiana, past and present: refineries, shipping, docks and gantries. The ghostly remains of recently busy foundries and sheet metal shops litter the landscape from the southern shore of Lake Pontchartrain to the banks of the Mississippi at Algiers. Dreams of rebuilding fill the air, but the loss of half its population and the devastation of its economy have all but stopped large scale construction.
The flood waters overwhelmed so much: though wrecked cars and toppled trees are rare sites today, even in the poorest wards, the streets are buckled. Ruination of Carthaginian proportions happened here, but among the few things left untouched when the waters receded are the manhole covers and sewer grates.

Melpomene, Terpsichore, Urania, Euterpe, Thalia, Clio, Erato, Polymnia, even Calliope (though now hiding under a tangle of highway overpasses) flower in the gaggle of street names just outside the Garden District. “Beautiful of speech,” perhaps this last muse of epic poetry waits in the offing, to tell much more fully of New Orleans’ rebirth. The muses of tragedy, history, many poesies - even song and dance yet abound in the damage all about. Some special god, though, provided protection to the sturdy ironwork that lies at gutter level and in the street beds.




Moon and stars, diamond patterns: the varieties bespeak an art form now largely lost, but local examples abound, saved from the flood, emblematic of those who have returned to find a way to live here once again. The challenge of rebuilding lives scattered in the hurricane winds, of finding new roles in a much altered landscape, made me stop and catch my breath. Sadness crept over me, though, as I encountered underfoot, one after another, these antique entries into damp basements and the netherworld beneath the streets. My heart feels unrequited, a lover of the vanished erstwhile variety (though it’s cornucopic, still) a ferrous richness of a greater past.
Mental note, made and filed: Somewhere I must find an catalog, not a modern antique dealers coffee table book, no, a 19th century catalog of iron street products, gutters, drains, architectural ironwork. The flood covered, the flood destroyed. Iron stayed, now clean, no longer defiled.

Breakfast at the Rampart Café, Saturday morning so quiet where once the traffic streamed by on its way east to Gentilly and beyond. This namesake street, once legendary, now lies distraught. Even the prime section across from Basin Street and Louis Armstrong Park is silent, much less the deserted environs to the west where the New Orleans Athletic Club’s gold-leafed oak doors warn that it is a Private Club, Members Only.
Who's left to object, though? Rampart Street lies stripped of its workaday functions, now a naked dividing line between the apparent renaissance of the French Quarter and the denouement to the north.
The few pedestrians each greet me face to face, each essaying “Good mawnin” with cotton-soft drawls, their eyes downcast, as if they’re grateful I’ve bothered to visit, to acknowledge their existence by walking by.
Walk Poland Street in northern Bywater, course down Esplanade,
the asphalt warped but the live oaks flourishing in the sub-tropical air. Here a recently proud house careening at 30 degrees off its foundation; next door the ubiquitous FEMA trailer and Tyvek sheeting.
Up in Lakewview and out at Lake Vista, appearances can be deceiving - but the 17th Street Canal break poured through just as close by, inundating blocks of spacious brick ranches, twenty years old or even less. Most homes sit vacant, the water lines barely visible, but recent plywood doesn't lie.
Banks, shopping strips, gas stations lie desolate everywhere, not the re-purposed varieties with off-brand names so common to inner-city neighborhoods. No, here in bourgeois Spanish Fort, off of upper Carrollton Avenue in Mid-City, stand Chase and BP, Starbucks, Staples: closed and stripped, the properties worthless 'cause no one's home.

R. drove me around in his beat-up Nissan. New Orleans bred and born, he returned as soon as possible after the flood, his home destroyed, his business wrecked. There, he pointed out,was his friend’s warehouse up near the Industrial Canal. Though open and re-roofed, the streets hard by look just like Baghdad, gaping wounds staring at us from all about. In the midst of sorrow and unutterable loss, R. has survived, rebuilt his IT business, recreated himself and heeded the call.

Hope springs out of the fertile Delta loam. The Big Easy made life slow and free for generations of post-War searchers. (That’s post-Appomattox, not after Pearl Harbor). Post-Katrinans who returned when the City reopened have been forced to reinvent themselves from the letter A. Cobbling together a modus vivendi with cash and barter, those who work outside the CBD's much-vacant office towers make do and breathe. Daily existence is improv theater. Auditions are held nightly down on Frenchmen Street, along Fulton and Thalia, muse to it all. Life, like the fire-molded manhole covers, has become an open casting call.

Not in their lifetimes, regardless of age, will the City return to what it was. Dealt a body blow by the loss of the petroleum industry headquarters in the late 1980s, its shipping, petrochemical and fishing industries in a long decline: then New Orleans took Katrina’s hit. The storm came and went and all was quiet. Google Maps of the area went suddenly dark. The sounds of children playing, the honk of car horns will never return to these battered streets, not in my remaining years, not in those of lives in being

Down by the waterfront you could think all was normal, if Harrah’s depicts us at our best. Through the lobby of the convention center Hilton, thousands of conventioneers pour in, ready for fun. The Association of Southern Schools (chartered 1895) is holding their annual convention this weekend. I crash the party among those dressed for success. Along French Market money jingles. Gaggles of no-neck monsters jostle and swear, their shaved heads and ripped torsos bursting with the hubris of living elsewhere and slumming here. It’s 11:00 a.m. and the LSU game starts soon. How can you start drinking on a Saturday morning? Guess I’m a pansy in this game of sports.

Three blocks north, though, traipse down Royal Street. Hog the sidewalk, it’s yours, all your own. Antique stores and fine galleries all beckon brightly. Nary a customer, nary a sound. Only the click of the banker’s meter: interest on inventory loans totting up, desperation shining in the salesgirls’ eyes. “The owner is here and would be happy to speak with you. We’re having a pre-Christmas special.” What’ll be thrown in gratis to seal to the deal? Think of the stalls in the shuk in Jerusalem’s Old City. You’re a hostage the moment you stop these days.

East of the edge of the fabled French Quarter: Faubourg/Marigny’s Frenchmen Street is place to go. The ambience is knee-deep: in and out of the clubs and bars stroll a mish-mosh of locals and itinerant junkies of music and more.
Deshabille is haute mode here, studiously unstudied, save for the fedoras that the young men sport. Felt or straw, you’re not a good hipster, unless you rake yours: proper, so. At Snug Harbor Elvin Marsalis ticles ivories two nights a week; down the block at Café Negril, Margie Perez weaves her delicate, plaintive thrall: “Whooooo’s your Daddy…” and “I’m goin’ down…” pouring like warm caramel from her warbler’s throat. Her lithe young body is clothed so perfectly in mode non-descript, She moves and sways, merging herself, her songs, those listening: as one. Café Negril is of its own volition, a case of first of impression for those who enter. All are welcome, no cover, no minimum, buy a drink or not, bring yours in from your previous engagement. Many do: plastic takeout cocktail cups are de rigeur in the watering holes. Just enter this place and be what you want. But one silent rule: live and let live. In both nights of my recent engagement, an old man entered and paid his respects. Drunk as a lord, 70 years if a day, one never knows what modest celebrity one's looking at through jaundiced tourist eyes. By the usual definitions the customer, an African American man with gray hair and disheveled clothing, reeking of liquor and unbathed for days: one would assume him to be an impoverished fellow, drinking away to his end of days. The man's gnarled, dark knuckles were bedecked with thick silver rings, the glints complementing the flash of his broken-toothed smile. The music would move him and up he’d get from his barstool, pouring himself onto the dance floor in front of the tattered couches like those found in indie coffee bars. There he’d dance and stop just short of hassling any young women he spied nearby. (After all, Terpsichore Street runs not far away). The second night the fellow traipsed in clothed in full battle dress: in one hand a clutch of golfing-irons, bound with a thick rubber strap; in the other a new broom ready for striking hot licks. Café Negril welcomes jammers. Cat gut, steel string, broom straw, all.

Bands that play here hang in the ‘hood, even if their gig is all played out. Down the long bar, the guyz from Friday's band tossed back shots of Jack and glowed. Their van out front had been parked there for days. Crib and studio, this dirty panel truck sported flimsy curtains in the front seat windows. Daytime zzz’s need some kind of dark. Suddenly past me, the lead guitarist bolted, a barmaid in tow, then out the door. Passenger side-door, creaked open loudly: he, then she, clambered aboard. Out in the street, atop a barstool, a middle-aged guy made eye contact with me as I stood at the bar near the open doors. Our eyes rolled upwards in sync as the van bobbed on its axles; its shocks and struts did yeoman’s work.

Two days and three nights flew by like magic. I bade Café Negril a sorry So Long. Royal Street midnight, back to my lodging, pissing between parked cars with urgent abandon, knowing the pavement's washed each day before dawn. Along came a kid playing a flatch patch bucket, not drumming it upright as so commonly seen. Using it as an echo-chamber megaphone, the boy held the bucket to his mouth at an angle, as he sang a gorgeous melody, tapping out a rhythm, soft.

All around me stood hundreds of houses, the richest collection of well-preserved, unpretentious mid- and late 19th century urban structures in all America. I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven. From the iron roundels, broken downspouts, Circe called me, she the mistress of potions and spells: “Here's a place that's safe from change; It’s time, to come and play your part.”



Three hours sleep and I’m up Monday, mourning. The Southern Crescent leaves at dawn. Though tucked in my sleeper, I refuse to really board. Compartment door securely fastened, my iPod holds me, spiked in place on the railroad ties. Liquor Boxx and Smokey Greenwell, Margie and Bif Naked: over and over I rolled on their tracks.

All along the steel underneath me: the clickety clack made a syncopated call. Come to New Orleans. Make your new self. Heed her open casting call…

Saturday, December 01, 2007

When You Learn How to Do It, Please Let me Know...

Stepping out of Yonah Shimmel's Knish Factory the other day, down on Houston and Forsyth, a giant belch escaped my gorgle, in studied satisfaction with my late-day pit stop. Yonah’s is the only restaurant that I frequent with a working dumbwaiter. Its greasy tables and unwashed floor only add to the taste of the diet-busting delicacies that I relish.




Decades pass but the faces and voices remain the same: There probably never was a Yonah Shimmel; today no scion rules the roost. A succession of modern-day Russians have run the joint, but they might as well have stepped of the ferry from Ellis Island a year or two ago. Greenhorns on their way to becoming All-Rightniks, the managers of this little curiosity shop can depend on a steady stream of tourists and locals, 7 days a week, digital cameras in hand, to knosh a knish and then take some to the Times Square Marriot or on the subway, still piping hot from the basement ovens.

Why do I love the place so much ? Because it's a part of me that never was, that entered my soul by osmosis, not by birth. A son of first generation American Jewish parents from modest (or lesser) Philadelphia backgrounds, I was born and grew up in East Tennessee. I consider myself a casualty, though unbloodied, of the Second World War. My late father had a Master's Degree in Chemistry, so when basic training ended for him in 1944, he was herded aboard a train bound for parts unknown to help the US Army develop a secret weapon that required his skills in spectroscopy and analyzing enriched uranium. That’s how a boy with a Jewish soul grew up in gustatory goles, the exile of the Diaspora in a Southern Baptist version of the tkhum ha moshav, the Pale of Settlement from Czarist days.

Oak Ridge retained a Jewish community after the War ended and the gates of the secret base were opened. The hundred families in our cinder-block shul were almost all soldiers and their wives and children who remained at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory instead of returning to the rapidly changing, soon-to-be blockbusted Jewish neighborhoods of New York, Chicago, Philadelphia and Detroit. My town was situated in a “dry” county - even kosher wine was illegal to possess. A 90-mile drive to Chattanooga for that most basic of ritual necessities was required, and subito in any event. Traditional Jewish food was only available in people's homes. The nearest Jewish deli was in Knoxville, an hour's drive away back in the day, on a two lane road through farms and fields bestrewn with billboards announcing JESUS IS LORD !. My parents rarely bought food at the Knoxville oasis due to our tight budget and Harold Shersky's immodest prices. Halvah was a once a year treat at Hannukah in a vacuum-packed dark blue tin that we opened by turning a tiny key round and round to unwind a metal band separating the lid. Five kids and two grown-ups made do with 8 ounces, carving off wafer thin slivers to melt in our mouths.

Knishes are a lot of work to make, and have no special holiday connection like matzoh balls for Pesakh or cheese blintzes for Shavues. My mother never made them. And thus I arrived in New York in 1969 to matriculate at Columbia College without bodily memory of a delicacy supreme. Yonah Schimmel filled a void I never knew I had. There I remember the bubbes I never knew, the zeydies who lived with us for a year apiece, the two old men, so different but so Jewish, who knew the world that Yonah baked.

I sit at one of those well-worn cafeteria tables, perched on one of the variegated wooden chairs, selecting my own silverware from the stainless steel dishwasher holders that adorn the Formica tops. A kasha knish is brought to my table, steaming from the inside out due to the miracles of microwavery. Salt and pepper and a healthy dollop of hot mustard, some cole slaw and pickles and a glass water tumbler of creamy cold borsht. Suddenly I’ve crossed into oylem habe, the world to come. Sitting across from me with his gentle smile, speaking Yiddish with me in his loving way is my mother’s dad, Pop, we called him. The screaming and yelling in mamaloshen that pierced the air when he lived with us and my mother and he fought is absent. Spread out on the table is our game of checkers and hand of "War" all dealt, but now it’s time for a bite to eat.

But Me? Eat this stuff ? I'm five years old, and no way am I even going to taste these funny smelling, weird looking things Pop has on his plate, the herring (feh!) the kasha (my father HATES the smell), the beets which seem like deviled poison. Pop digs in and I sit silent. He’s from a different planet but I don’t mind.

I still like the PB+J that I preferred then. But I've grown to love what I then despised. Pop loved me unconditionally in his own way: a poretz, a peasant, in every way, his understanding of people was plain and his needs simple. But food he enjoyed and I miss his face, his rough carpenter's hands, his unfiltered Camel cigarettes that he would light with a match that he snuffed between his fore-finger and a well-calloused thumb. One day soon, Pop will come sit beside me at Yonah's. It's his place, too, and I'll wait 'til he comes, wiping the seat and setting it right, the kisey ha kuved: the throne of honor, seat of love.

******************************

Purple has many connotations: purple prose, purple robes, purple bruises, and in the days of flower power, purple acid. I came to New York as a freshman at Columbia College in 1969; it was then that I first discovered Yonah's. The year that followed included other trips. J. Edgar Hoover and AT+T occupied similar turf in my druggie friends' minds. Dropping acid, using fake long distance calling credit card numbers, and attending protest marches with the SDS were indistinguishable in our minds. Two years after the Summer of Love, New York's Lower East Side was in full bloom when I arrived on the Greyhound Bus with my worldly belongings crammed into two sturdy sample cases that my father’s dad had used for years as he flogged the northeastern Pennsylvania haberdashery route for a New York-headquartered men’s shirt manufacturer. And one day in Central Park, my very first autumn in my longed-for new home, I met Adam Purple, a man about town.

With his long beard and elfin looks, Adam was a sight to behold, a counterculture Rip Van Winkle, high as a kite. With his companion, The Purple Woman, he rode around on a dinky bicycle, handing out leaflets with arcane sayings, strings of numbers, orderless prose, all printed in purple letters. Tie-dyed purple clothing and matching hats complemented the couple’s odd behavior, she never saying a word as they approached you on a lawn in Central Park with their gifts of precious secret paper weaponry to defeat the evil designs of the Man.




In coming years, many buildings on the Lower East Side were abandoned by their desperate owners as drug dealers and prostitutes took over the 'hood. Fires followed by the dozen, just like in the South Bronx, and vacant lots appeared where knish-fressers had once made their homes. Down on Forsyth Street, Adam Purple and his frau made their home in one squat or another, and their bicycles sprouted strange contraptions at the rear.

Paris has its Tulieries, London its Hyde Park, but Eldridge Street became known for the Purple People's garden. A veritable Eden, the couple painstaking graded and cleaned a vacant lot, building graceful, winding brick pathways, adorning the space with a plethora a of flowers and vegetables. Horse manure collected from the Central Park drives and trucked downtown on shopping carts rigged to their bikes made the plants grow to gigantic size. Decades before their time, this crazy pair made the earth bloom where before only tears and sweat had ruled the day, Bulldozers later destroyed it all for low-income housing.

The couple split up years ago and no one seems to know what happened to The Purple Woman. But Adam Purple has survived, collecting cans, sleeping God knows where downtown. Just like Pop’s, his ghost lingers in my mind, reminding me of a gentler time, when I was young and New York shone like a cinder-clad diamond.

**************************

My knish consumed, my legs well-rested, Palm Pilot safely stored, I saddled up on my bike the other day and headed into the Houston Street maelstrom, heading east and on to home. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I spotted a figure that made me stop short. His colored fleece hat gave him away. A few yards ahead of me an old man with a battered bike, its rear basket brace loaded with returnable soda cans, turned onto Eldridge Street and headed south.

In his long white beard and gentle face I instantly recognized a man once famous. At least to me, back in the day. Heading home took on a new meaning, so I pedaled off, veering south instead of north, hoping to catch the aging denizen. It didn’t take long, and I found him stopped beside a trash can, foraging for empties and a bite to eat. From a respectful distance I called him by name, offering two singles from my outstretched hand. “You’re Adam Purple, aren’t you?” I said. “And what’s you name?” he responded with caution. I smiled and instantly we were on the same page. “Ben,” I said. “You’re famous to me. I remember your garden. I miss it so.”

Clear as a bell, he blamed Giuliani, even though Koch was the boss when this Third Temple was destroyed. “Have you ever read Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography?” Adam asked me, innocently. I told him I had many years ago. A few more words and I made for the north woods, wishing I’d asked for his picture and more.

Photos are easily obtainable though. His is above and it'll do just fine. But possessing the past, now there's the trick. When you learn how to do it, just please let me know.

The New York Wanderer, Read Aloud...

For those of you who'd like to attend a reading of material I've written recently about New York City history and culture, come to the CUNY Graduate Center at 34th Street and Fifth Avenue on Wednesday evening March 26, 2008, [exact time to be announced] when The Gotham History Center of CUNY will sponsor a reading of essays posted on its Gotham History Blotter, which can be viewed at

http://www.gothamcenter.org/features/blotter/index.shtml

Among the readings will be a piece that appears on a recent page of this blog entitled "Mister Dog," about a wonderful New York City architectural treasure and my personal connection with Margaret Wise Brown's last children's storybook published before her tragic premature death.

Stay tuned for further details:-)



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